Xan: Easter! and a Tammy Egg Hunt!

We had a nice Easter feast with a few friends:

On the menu was:

• Ham
• Rack of lamb
• Yam
• Sacrificial Ram (return of the big corn sheep)
• 500 gram broccoli salad on the lam
• apricot jam bars (not pictured, sorry)
• bread-am

I don't know what bread-am is but everything else rhymes with ham so what can I do.

Beautiful spirals of meat!

I love Costco.  But as a consequence I am still working on pounds of ham leftovers.  Here are all the things I have put ham in: 

• sandwiches
• broccoli salad
• pasta
• soup
• beans
• ham

I swear it keeps getting better and better though.  I don't remember liking ham this much before.

Also, because I was deep frying sweet potato fries anyway, I went ahead and deep fried the rack of lamb before bringing it up to 128 F in the oven.  The oil wasn't deep enough to submerge everything, but I could still get better coverage than by searing without an inch of oil.  No, this does not make it greasy or unhealthy.  Meat doesn't really absorb oil.  It just gives it a delicious browned crust, evenly and quickly.  You mostly can't see it in the picture above, but look at the rib lying on its side at the back.  They all look like that underneath. And because the browning only takes a few minutes, they are nice and medium rare from edge to edge inside.  And because there was ham too, I didn't feel guilty not catering to the preferences of Catherine-types who like their meat cooked past medium rare.

Here is the bread-am, which I already posted in the pan pizza post:

What is it with circular arrangements today?

And here is broccoli salad, the sacrificial ram (a beheaded big corn sheep), and yam aka sweet potato fries:

Now, on to the Tammy Egg Hunt!

What is special about a Tammy Egg Hunt, you ask?  I will tell you.  Tammy did the hiding---which meant I never had to look up---but more importantly she also chose what to put inside the Easter eggs.  There are some problems with this.

The first problem is that, culturally speaking, Tammy is from Pluto, which is not even a planet.  The second problem is that she does not see this as a problem.  She persistently trusts her bizarre intuitions even though, time and again, they are scientifically proven to make no sense.

Of course, I know Tammy is a clueless Plutonian.  So I tried, I really tried, to preempt the inevitable Tammyisms by telling her what to buy for the Easter eggs.  Said I, "Get jelly beans, Cadbury mini-eggs, other candy."

At this point you will not be surprised to hear that this advice went completely unheeded.  Our Easter Egg Hunt got totally, woefully Plutoed into a Tammy Egg Hunt.  I mean, I expected something weird to happen. But even if she only saw my directive as a loose suggestion, she couldn't possibly have violated it more seriously than she did.

Without further ado, here's what we found in our eggs:

Popcorn, cough drops, and tea bags: everything you need for your very own Tammy Egg Hunt!

Gosh, I don't even have a picture of the popcorn because we already ate it.  There were like 10 pieces.

People were like, "Umm...I think some of these eggs are empty..."  But no.  Tea bags just don't make a sound when you shake them.  Also, popcorn is mostly air, which is why it's normally served in large buckets instead of tiny plastic eggs.

Worst. Easter Eggs. Ever. 

Incidentally, these were also the Funniest Easter Eggs Ever, just for the pure comedic value of finding such outlandishly out-of-place "goodies" inside, earnestly placed there by a well-meaning but utterly clueless alien.  Man, even normal aliens do better than this!  E.T. would have filled these eggs with Reese's Pieces!!!  But just think, somewhere out there in the vastness of outer space orbits a space rock that wishes it was a real planet like Earth.  And on this tiny, cold non-planet lives a race of tiny, cold Plutonians who desperately wish they could fit in with Earthlings. At least one Plutonian somehow made the physical journey here, but the culture gap is just too vast to bridge.  Pro-tip: Easter is a time for candy, not medicine. Earth is large and warm.  Thus Earthlings are tall and healthy and they do not have colds like the tiny people on cold Pluto.

The real tragedy of this affair was that Catherine had been forgoing chocolate for Lent, and Tammy completely failed to deliver. Luckily for Vongsafooders, a chocolate fix is never more than 90 seconds away!  I refer (of course) to brownie in a mug, which we had later that night after everyone left.

Xan: Pan Pizza Montage!

I made so many of these since my previous post, and though I didn't take pictures of most of them, we're gonna need a montage!  I tend to take pics when food is noticeably different from something I've cooked before, so these are more or less representative of the variations so far.  (Minus the one depicted in my previous post.  Actually, that is my favorite and the one I make most often).

Pepperoni.  Caramelized onions.  Olives.  Panko bread crumbs.

Thinly sliced potatoes, onions, bread crumbs.

Melted butter and cinnamon sugar.

This is just Catherine posing happily with her new pizza cutter from Disney World.  Sigh...

Olive oil, salt, and rosemary

Hawaiian with bread crumbs!

 And here is an overhead shot of the Hawaiian pizza:

An emblem of our relationship.

On the left, cheeseless Hawaiian with crushed pineapple and leftover ham from Easter.  On the right, Catherine's version of Hawaiian, namely regular pepperoni pizza. (with bread crumbs. are you noticing a trend yet?)

And here is a closeup of her slice since we don't have one of those yet:

This would also be an excellent opportunity to showcase our new cast iron skillet, which is visible in the Olive Oil, Salt, and Rosemary bread above.  We had a 10" cast iron skillet (which was used to make most of these) and Anne gave us a 12" as an engagement gift.  (Thank you!  We're putting it to good use!)

I wanted a 12" in part because the 10" pan pizzas are dissatisfyingly small for the two of us.  I didn't want to go above 12" though, as I have learned from experience that even 12" pans are much larger than 10" pans. Their area is proportional to the square of the diameter, of course, so the 12" pan is almost 50% larger than the 10".  But even knowing this, it still always surprises me on a gut level, just how quickly pans get big as the diameter increases. I mean, look!

On the right is the 12" pan, on the left the 10".  It comes pre-seasoned from Lodge, but it ain't the same, as you can see. So I seasoned it myself. (You can see it is black in the Olive Oil, Salt, and Rosemary Bread shot).  Anyway, the 12" pan is just right for our pizzas.  And for Easter I used it to brown a rack of lamb that wouldn't fit in the 10"!

But listen.  You can make these pizzas in whatever size pan you want.  The important thing is to make them, for they are easy and delicious.  Again, here is the basic recipe.  But to that, I would add that I no longer bother making pizza sauce, which makes it even easier.  (You could also buy pizza sauce...).  I just use crushed tomatoes or tomato sauce, throw some salt on, and sometimes make up the difference with other toppings.  If you go this route, the dough is easy, the sauce is easy, the toppings are easy.  That adds up to easy pizza!

Easter Baking

I have been quite remiss in posting about my culinary adventures, of which there have been many in the last few months.  But in honor of the holiday, I'm going to post about the three stages of my Easter baking!

Stage 1: Bunny, Chick and Lamb cakes.  I used a mold that I bought on Easter sale at Karstadt, and used a Germany recipe, which included grated marzipan!  This was new for me, and I must say even the baking marzipan here bears slight resemblance to what is found in the UK.

Stage 2: Two days later, I made cupcakes.  If you look in the first picture, you can see two different kinds of Easter flavored cupcake liners!  I made coconut cupcakes from a Barefoot Contessa recipe.  They were quite popular at work, but I wasn't so happy with them because there was also almond extract in, and it was a bit too strong for me, I suspect because the coconut here being dessicated and un-sweetened, the flavor doesn't offset the almond as much as it should.

Stage 3: I was invited by a couple of co-workers for Easter brunch today, and I volunteered to bring supplies for Easter cookie decorating.  This picture is just from the beginning; about half an hour later the table was completely full.  It was a hit!  And the guests were from all over the world, so some had never decorated cookies before.  And best of all, I finally got to use all of my Easter cookie cutters.  And the second picture is my cookies.

Xan: Love-hate relationships

What do smoked salmon and corn dogs have in common?

They are both foods that I LOVE, but only for the first few bites.

It is a peculiar sort of love-hate relationship.  I love smoked salmon, but I get sick of it so quickly, and I have no idea why.  I also love corn dogs, but I can only make it about halfway through a corn dog before I am just done with that taste.  I have the same problem with hot dogs to a lesser extent.  (Foot-longs are definitely too big).

I do not seek these foods out.  I eat them when they come to me in life, which is just infrequently enough for me to forget about my love-hate relationship with them.  When I saw smoked salmon at a breakfast buffet recently, I remembered how much I loved it, but I took too much because I didn't remember that I was about to hate it again.

There are probably other foods in this category that I just cannot remember right now.  Has anyone else had an experience like this?

Xan: Pan Pizza!

At last.  AT LAST.

This is the pizza I have been trying to make all this time.  Easy and delicious pizza with a thick, oily crust.  This is not deep dish; it's Pizza Hut pizza.

I like Pizza Hut crust a lot.  I have tried to replicate it by incorporating oil into the pizza dough, and by brushing oil onto the crust right before cooking.  But it never came close to working.  The crust needs to fry in oil.  Not that much oil -- a tablespoon will do -- but enough that a pan is required.

In addition to the crust, the toppings were excellent.  This is the first cheeseless pizza I have ever eaten that didn't seem to be missing something...and it didn't even have meat on it!  (Of course Catherine's side still had cheese).  And I didn't have to make pizza sauce!  The toppings in this case were: crushed tomatoes, sundried tomatoes, olives, caramelized onions, and panko bread crumbs.  These are all things I have lying around my kitchen, but if you don't have caramelized onions in your freezer, you'd have to add that to the process. Or just use more typical toppings.  I mean, if you aren't lactose intolerant, it's easy to make a pizza that doesn't seem to be missing something.


I am indebted yet again to Kenji.  Here is the basic pizza recipe:
http://slice.seriouseats.com/archives/2013/01/the-pizza-lab-the-worlds-easiest-pizza-no-knead-no-stretch-pan-pizza.html

and here is the recipe with approximately the toppings I used:
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2013/02/easy-party-pan-pizza-sun-dried-tomatoes-olives-caramelized-onions-sfinzione-sicilian-recipe.html

I would highly recommend this pizza to anyone, but especially to a home cook who is just starting out and aspires to make great pizzas from scratch.  There is no kneading of the pizza dough, and no nonsense with shaping the pizza or getting it into and out of the oven.  This is a pizza that's really easy and consistent as long as you have the right equipment, and all of the equipment is a good investment if you are looking to build up a versatile kitchen inventory.  You will find useful a digital kitchen scale (I can recommend this one) and a 10-inch cast iron skillet (e.g. this one), both of which are a lot more versatile than pizza peels and baking stones.

Did you know the amount of flour in a cup can vary by as much as 50% (!) depending on how packed it is?  (Weighing the flour eliminates the guesswork).

Xan: A very Colorado celebration!

I wanted to put together a themed feast in honor of my good friend Tony, who is moving to CU-Boulder.  So naturally I consulted my good friend Brendan, a Colorado native and creative.  Look what we came up with:

Tony will be leaving the geologically vacant Midwest for the Flatiron Mountains!  Behold, the Mountains of Celebration Ham:

This was supposed to be maple-glazed, but for some unknown reason I used honey instead.  It was not planned, my brain just checked out while I reached for the honey.  The honey was totally crystallized (tail end of a Costco bottle...) so it was a major production to get it out of the bottle.  At no point did I realize that maybe I don't even need the honey.

Not that honey-glazed ham isn't also awesome.  We managed to eat almost all of the 7-lb ham between the five of us!

Next up, Boulder Potatoes!

These sort of disintegrated into pebble potatoes, but they are fried and therefore delicious.  They did not last long.

Because CU-Boulder's rival is the Colorado State University Rams, whose mascot is a bighorn sheep ram, I also made this Decapitated Big Corn Sheep:

We consumed it in effigy, for good measure.

There was also bread and, for dessert, Mile High Partially Eaten Rum Cake of Destiny, and also Hot COCOa.  Brendan even suggested that I infuse the hot cocoa with coconut so it would be COCO COCOa.  I will have to try making hot cocoa with coconut milk instead of regular milk some time.

After dinner, we played Colorado-themed bananagrams in which everyone had to come up with a Colorado-related word.  I was victorious, if uncreative:

Xan: Chicken of the Week

Glazed chicken!