Thursday, November 27, 2014

Kathleen's chili salsa!

Kathleen sends in a picture of the prepping her famous All-Chili Salsa!  In this salsa, she dispenses altogether with the usual "filler" of tomatoes, onions, and other unspicy foodstuffs, using a variety of hot peppers in their place. After chopping up the peppers, the salsa needs just a squeeze of lime to be complete.

Here is the cast of characters, ready to be diced:

You may ask yourself, if tomatoes have been replaced by peppers, then what are peppers replaced by?  I mean, as you can see, Kathleen has replaced tomatoes with habaneros (in the back) and chocolate habaneros (the dark ones), onions with lemon peppers (yellow), and cilantro with fish peppers (green). Where can we go from there? What are those wrinkly red and orange things?

Brace yourself.  I'm sorry to report that Kathleen has just progressed into Stage VI of the Heat Madness. I did not even know her affliction had a Stage VI, yet here we are, undeniably. The mystery pepper is none other than the Bhut Jolokia, the fabled ghost pepper, and Kathleen has obtained no fewer than five of them. Yes, you should be scared. The Ghost pepper clocks in at over 1 million Scoville units. (For comparison, jalapenos are rated at about 1,000 Scovilles).

In case you haven't noticed, ghost peppers are a primary hallmark of insanity in the 21st century. There are dozens of lunatics on Youtube taking the "Ghost Pepper Challenge," and it never ends well. For example:

Family, friends, I beseech you. No longer can we stand idly by. No longer can we ignore the warning signs. It is time and past time to stage an intervention, or we will lose Kathleen forever to the deepest depths of the Heat Madness. The time for actions is upon us. What say you?

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