Linden's Thing Xan Can't Eat

People in England have difficulty with the concept of Pizza and America. They also have difficulty with the idea of jocks and cheerleaders in the classroom (and outside of it), but that is easily laid to rest with assurances that yes, they do exist.

Pizza, on the other hand, takes a little more explaining. Yes, we have pizza just like yours. We have flopsy New York pizza. We also have doughier crusts, like Dominos. And then we have deep dish from Chicago. Yes, they count as pizza. No, Italy doesn't hold copyright on pizza.

And then I usually feel obliged to mention that England unapologetically bastardizes every cuisine it gets its hands on, sometimes with delicious results (take Chicken Tikka Masala, for example) and that I don't understand how England even has a high horse to climb on when it comes to food.

But the terrible consequences of all of this are that I am left craving pizza, and not just the kind we can get in this country. The Chicagoan kind! And then I feel the bitter irony that has Xan "NoCheese" Xan living in the heart of deepdish land and me living very far away.

So I set out to make little deepdishes. They are a jumble of compromises, because this country isn't very into things like cast iron or cornmeal. So my deepdishes are made in a springform. This, on the bright side, makes serving easier since you can just despring the form once it's cooked. And I use very finely ground cornmeal, but that's all right. (To make the dough biscuitier, you add a little cornmeal in place of flour. ...and some butter.)

And, this country doesn't have italian sausage, so I have to make my own. (By buying sausage meat, and then adding in chili flakes and fennel. That does just about well enough, since it's going into tomato sauce anyways.)

But they are super delicious! Just look at that cheesy, tomatoey center. With basil sprinkled artistically on top.

Yum yum yum.

Linden's 4th of July Cheesecake

Now before the pictures, I want to offer a general disclaimer that this isn't all my work. We all know I'm not very good at things like patterns and decoration, and that when given a box full of colorful crayons I will draw a panda. And people will think it's a snowman. So before people think I have made great leaps and bounds in this area, this wasn't decorated by me! I did all the baking and slicing of fruit, and then Chris hid the mess I had made of the top of the cheesecake by putting fruit on it.

This cheesecake was taken to a Fourth of July Bash, funded and hosted by the US Military. When planning my dessert contribution, I worried, "what if this isn't patriotic enough, they may not let me in. especially because I am arriving with a Red Coat." I instructed Red Coat Chris to wear the other two Patriotic Colors (having informed him earlier that it is general good practice to wear two of the three colors to a 4th celebration - I myself was wearing blue and red - or all three if you can manage it tastefully), and to hold the cheesecake out in front of him and be very quiet upon arrival, to disguise his accent and help ease his entry.

We made it through to the garden, where the grill and food were set up, and requisitioned ourselves some NonAlcoholic Beverages and barbecue chicken sandwiches (I made sure Red Coat Chris' had some lettuce, because Xan is not the only one who finds themself on vegetable duty)

The US Military reports that my cheesecake was delicious, and eaten in record speed, and that people were fighting each other for the last forkfulls (so it must be true). It disappeared fastest of everything at the barbecue - initially it was attractive and appealing, after one shake of the lamb's tail half of it had been consumed by a small bastion of Africanists who were considering whether they could justify eating the other half, and after two shakes it was all gone (they decided that it was more ethical to give some to those less fortunate). I myself managed to secure a small slice, and I can confirm that it was super delicious. I even managed to requisition two blueberries and strawberries, which were delicious as well (English strawberries taste better, which always puzzles me since it rains so much here).

 However, I think we can all recognize that in spite of the delicious fruits and decorations, the really impressive thing here is me.